Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
7 Simple Strategies to Help Our Children Along the Path to Purpose and Possibility
By Glenda Hatchett
Published by HarperCollins Publishers, 2003
ISBN: 0060563087
240 pages
Who else is better suited to write a book on how to raise children correctly than Judge Glenda Hatchett? Aside from being a single mother of two boys, the judge also presides before one of the largest juvenile court systems in the United States. Her experiences as a judge has given her insights on how good children turn bad, and what parents can do to prevent this from happening. In this book, she shares her views on how to raise children and gear them towards success.
Judge Hatchett illustrates how positive involvement in your child's life can make a major difference. The judge also provides true-to-life courtroom anecdotes and gut-wrenching stories of what may befall your child should you choose to do otherwise. To make things easier, Judge Hatchett outlines seven simple strategies that you as a parent can utilize to help your child cross the path to purpose and possibility.
Simple Strategy # 1 - Expect Greatness
As a parent, you should always believe that your child is capable of greatness. Even more important than believing, you should expect this to happen. By demanding the very best, you can be sure that you will be getting nothing less in return. Of course, you need to start by setting the same standards for yourself. You can't expect your child to aspire for greatness if you don't strive for the same.
Simple Strategy # 2 - Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
Your words may have a greater effect on children then you think. Furthermore, words can be misunderstood and this can result in unnecessary conflict. As both a parent and an adult, you must learn to choose words that would not be misinterpreted by children. You must also practice consistency and mean everything you say. A good application of this strategy would be setting house rules for your child. Always make sure that the rules are set in clear, simple terms; and that they are strictly enforced.
Simple Strategy # 3 - Listen Carefully
As a parent, it is vital that you take time to listen carefully to your child. Your child should be comfortable enough to share with you anything and everything, without fear of reprisals. Openness is key. You must listen with an open mind, open eyes and open ears. Do not interrupt the child with questions of your own, or you might miss out on something even more important. Be prepared to provide insights should you be asked for advice.
Simple Strategy # 4 - Keep Your Word
What can be more basic than keeping your word? Unfortunately, as a parent, you may sometimes fail to follow through with your promises. Particularly when it means something you might consider petty, such as a football game or a school play.
As a parent, you are committed to be there for your child at all times. You should be ready to shower your child with the proper attention and support. In effect, you are responsible for building the foundation of your child's future, and the values to be taken along.
Simple Strategy # 5 - Cheer
Your child needs love and support, and one of the best ways to manifest this is to cheer at every success and to applaud displays of outstanding character. This might mean being the number one cheerleader during ball games, or to express admiration during one-on-one discussions.
A child who feels unloved and unsupported might seek the same kind of affection and recognition from other people. Unfortunately, that person might not always be a priest, a teacher, a relative or a family friend. Your child might choose to seek approval and nurturing from street gangs and other dangerous elements that have long ago learned that it was easy to prey on troubled kids hungry to be acknowledged.
Simple Strategy # 6 - Make Money Matter
Money does matter and it matters a lot. Although this is not really an idealistic way of looking at things, your child will soon find out that a price tag matters a lot in this world. It is now up to you to teach your child the value of money and how to manage it properly. Through proper training, your child will also learn to set realistic goals and take on more responsibility to attain them.
Simple Strategy # 7 - Reach, Teach, and Preach
Having faith is not limited to the concept of an omnipotent, all-knowing God. Faith governs anyone who firmly believes that there is something greater than the self - whether it is a scientific force, the family, or the community. What is important is that you are accountable, and in the same way, your child learns that there is something to be accountable for.
Provide your child with a venue where they can learn respect and responsibility towards a higher being. It can be through church, or some other forum where your child can be made to understand that there is something bigger and more important than the here and now. Teach your child to use faith as a source of inspiration, comfort and guidance.
Key thoughts:
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
-John Wooden, college basketball coach
"Although they only give gold medals in the field of athletics, I encourage everyone to
look into themselves and find their own personal dream, whatever that may be - sports,
medicine, law, business, music, writing, whatever. The same principles apply. Turn your
dream into a goal and learn how to attack that goal systematically. Break it into bite-size
chunks that seem possible, and then don't give up. Just keep plugging away."
- John Naber, swimmer, four-time Olympic Gold Medalist
By: Marjorie Austria
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