12 Simple Secrets of Happiness

Finding Joy in Everyday Relationships
By Glenn Van Ekeren,
Published by Prentice Hall Press, 2000
ISBN: 0735201390
196 pages

The book outlines the 12 Simple Secrets to achieving fulfillment and true joy in relationships. These are:

This book stresses that habitual reactions to problems, adversities, and other challenges in life may actually be counter-productive. By learning to reduce your stress level, by remaining calm, you could actually increase your productivity and your potential for a happier life.

Generosity: The joy of a giving spirit

Give up a little of yourself for others. Though you can never be too kind, try to be kind once in a while. Do not indulge yourself in gossip. Learn to speak of others graciously as you would want to be spoken of.

Hope: How do you make people feel?

Be a source of encouragement and hope to your friends and family. Support and appreciate them. This will make you a social magnet. Learn to give to people without expecting anything in return. Give unselfishly. People will appreciate you for this.

Kindness: Fault Finding is a Bad Habit!

Assess yourself first before opening your mouth to criticize others. You will most likely discover some scary truth within you that you keep on seeing on other people.

Friendship: Your best friend is the one who brings out the best in you.

Success and fulfillment in life are in direct proportion to the investment we make in people.

Show your gratitude
Encourage and give positive reinforcement
Have faith in people
Express your love
Light up any room you enter

Empathy: Reach out and touch someone, corny as it sounds. It actually works!

Treat other people well. Reach out and spend time and energy in helping them. You will be surprised at how greatly this gesture can improve your relationships.

Don't try to get even. Repay your offender with a noble gesture. This will eventually make him feel embarrassed for how he has behaved. Learn to collaborate with other people. Remember, we are designed to help each other out to survive.

Love

Say, "I love you" often.
Kiss and hug often.
Compliment your spouse sincerely.
Always treat each other with respect.
Husbands, do that extra household chore.

Forgiveness: Keeping bridges in good repair

If you cannot forgive, you cannot move on.
Be the first to ask forgiveness.
Don't dwell on the hurt.
Be willing to say "I'm sorry" without conditions.
Let go.

Acceptance: My wife is always right

Learn to give in. A gentleman always allows the woman to win the argument.

Understanding: Speak their language

Learn to see things from the other person's point of view. No amount of intelligence, talent or education can replace this gift.

Encouragement

Let others know that you believe in what they can do.

Communication: For men only!

Develop a willingness to listen.
Don't guess what she'll say next.
Be patient.
Listen for the unspoken message.
Be silent.

Gratitude: Show it!

Here are some phrases to get you started:

I appreciate the way you.
I'm impressed with.
Thanks for.
One of the things I love about you is.
I admire your.

Key thoughts:

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
-John Wooden, college basketball coach

"Although they only give gold medals in the field of athletics, I encourage everyone to look into themselves and find their own personal dream, whatever that may be - sports, medicine, law, business, music, writing, whatever. The same principles apply. Turn your dream into a goal and learn how to attack that goal systematically. Break it into bite-size chunks that seem possible, and then don't give up. Just keep plugging away."
- John Naber, swimmer, four-time Olympic Gold Medalist

By: Marjorie Austria
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